A funny letter from COVID-19
Hi, it's me COVID-19,
I'm on annual leave till Monday. If there's six of you in a house I'll mess you all up. Six fine though and not worth fighting for.
I'm going to stay way from pubs and schools. I find them quite intimidating, although I didn't in April and that's why we had to close everything.
Go to the cinema that's fine. 100 of you in a single auditorium, I won't bother you there, soley because I can't afford cinema ticket prices!
I'm not going to pick a fight with a footbal team. You can get changed around each other in the locker rooms, but please don't bring girls back to your hotel room or I'll get you all.
If there's "Come Dine With Me" on TV, there can't be more than 6 of you in the couples series. Nothing personal, I just think the show is crap and I will target you all.
I've decided to leave aeroplanes alone. I don't like flying, so all of you can stay snuggled in that tiny cabin. You're welcome.
Oh, and you can open brothels in Amsterdam again. I'm not into people that have that kind of business. I'll just watch, but if you're in Asda less than two metres without a mask, I'll get you.
Kindest regards
COVID-19